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The TGN Fanfiction Thread
 
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merlewhitefire
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 5:25 pm  Reply with quote

I'd hate to nitpick, but they're (We're?) Bothans, not Bonthans.

That aside...

OMGWTFILOVEYOUMARRYMENOW!

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Bring it, Mr. President.


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darkhalo
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:59 am  Reply with quote

*Screams with utter delight!* YES!! I am the cause of chaos on Hoth!!
Wow, I didn't think I'd actually be in it! Thankyou so much Darkgeneral!
Oh and yes, you are quite right, I am a female. lol

I can't wait for more, this is gonna be goood! Very Happy

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darkgeneral
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 4:45 pm  Reply with quote

Chapter 2 Part A (Part B to come).

The Kaiser is now playing as Darth Vader.

*Asthmatic Breathing*

"I can feel the power of the chosen one flowing through me. Dark General Veers, continue with your operations. I must find the Jedi."
"Yes my lord."

The talking shadow left the housing into open sunlight. The dark tower somehow avoided all contact with the enemy. Although that might have been due to the fact that his force sprint made him appear a black smudge against the white background. He slowed, spotting an orange jumpsuit rushing towards the shield generator.

~*~

"Admiral Velociberg, how is the space battle."
"The rebel ships are trying to break through the blockade, and I can't maneuver the Executor through the line to engage them. The remaining Star Destroyers are bombarding the bases as ordered. We are prepared to send troopers straight to Echo Base once you've destroyed the shield generator."
"I'm working on it, the At-At's are making their way through the valley. The shield generator should be destroyed within a few minutes."
"Good, but I don't trust Lord Vader being down there in the heat of battle."
"He can hold his own. His focus is the Jedi, Buzzard. My men are keeping the Rebels busy."
"Here come the A-wings. Velociberg, out."

~*~

A Shock Trooper sat at the helm, rocket launcher and mines at the ready in case the rebels got suspicious. Remix was smiling behind that mask as the war elephant-like machine strode towards it's target. The snow speeders were trying other strategies than the old tie the legs routine. But they were unsuccessful and had to fly back before being shot down. They were quite annoying. And any brave rebels that approached the vehicle were met with raw laser fire.

Remix loved the At-At.

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"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax—
Of cabbages—and kings—
And why the sea is boiling hot—
And whether pigs have wings."
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VelociBerg
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 5:01 pm  Reply with quote

0_0

Wow...Now I'm in one of these?

...

WICKED AWESOMENESS! Hail to the Empire baby!

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MagicalCat
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 5:01 pm  Reply with quote

I should've commented on this sooner. A TGN Star Wars? Awesome! I laughed when it was mentioned that Wolfbane was Chewbacca. Instead of a wookie, it's a werewolf.

Kaiser, you're Darth Vader? I wonder if that violates the Jerichonian religion.

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darkgeneral
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 5:31 pm  Reply with quote

He threatened me. I had to do it knowing the power of his trebuchets. Besides, the name Darth Kaiser does sound a bit cool. You know, I haven't included any of the mods yet. Just can't think of a good position for them to fill...Commandeering the Star Destroyers Perhaps?

Also, I'm still working on part B of chapter 2. It will be longer, I tell you. I'm still looking for ways to incorporate the forum regulars.

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"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax—
Of cabbages—and kings—
And why the sea is boiling hot—
And whether pigs have wings."
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The Kaiser
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 1:54 am  Reply with quote

Seiben Chapter

~~~~

Explosions rocked the ground beneath Merlewhitefire's feet as he slowly marched back, firing his flame-rifle at any available target. Between every release of his trigger finger he frantically looked around for any signs of others from his company. In all the chaos, he was having a hard enough time recognizing his own men from the enemy, and the only sure-fire way he had of determining enemy from comrade through the smoke and destruction was the direction they were coming in.

The Hordes just had to break through the wall when his unit was being rotated off the East Wall for a brief rest and refit, didn't they?! Well... at least he hadn't been on the wall when they'd pushed through; Merlewhitefire could only imagine what had happened to the units stationed there when the mortar and bricks had come tumbling down.

An artillery shell smashed into the land just a few steps away from the young ANCSE soldier, throwing him off his feet. Merlewhitefire numbly sat himself up after a few dazed seconds, fumbling for his flame-rifle. Damn, couldn't let himself get distracted like that, he was in a battle...

"Hey Merle! In front of you!"

Merlewhitefire looked up in front of him just in time to see a large man clad in various fur-clothing charging at him, a crude battle-axe in his hands. His confused state was abruptly replaced by cold military precision, and the soldier immediately slung his flame-rifle into firing position. He pulled the trigger, the barbarian mere inches from him.

'zomg ure teh gay.'

The flame-blast hit the large man squarely in the chest, knocking him back. The rage and murderous intent that had been plain on the slashers face was replaced by a look of shocked awe. Merlewhitefire stood back up, keeping his gaze to the now-banned person. The sound from the explosions and other munitions around them seemed to become deafened as Merlewhitefire continued to stare. The next thing he knew Tofu King was at his side, shaking him back into the real world.

"Hey Merle, come on! The division's pulling back!"

"What?! But aren't we supposed to hold this area?!"

"That doesn't matter now, COME ON!"

Merlewhitefire shook his head and began to run with his comrade. The explosions, contrary to what one would think, didn't seem to get any quieter or farther away, but instead louder, and closer. Merlewhitefire watched as one of the ANCSE Tanks from his division rolled forward, the head-mounted chain-flamer spouting off nonstop. A huge rock came down from the sky, smashing into the turret and causing a terrific explosion.

'PWNT!'

"Come on!" Tofu King shouted again, pulling Merlewhitefire from his fixation. ANCSE troops were everywhere now, some running like Merle and Tofu King, others holding their ground and firing at what Merlewhitefire could only guess was the Horde swarms coming upon them. He could've sworn he saw one of his fellows get hit by an arrow... what the elohir were the Hordes fighting with? Battle-Axes and bows? And they were forcing the ANCSE to retreat?!"

"GET DOWN!"

Merlewhitefire instinctively threw himself onto the earthen floor. Even with his head covered and his eyes closed, he could still notice the huge light of some explosion behind him. Far behind him. Okay, battle-axes, arrows, and bombs, that's what the hordes were using.

"Come on, get up! We gotta' go!" Tofu King was already on his feet again, pulling his friend onto his. Merlewhitefire felt a bit disoriented thanks to the last thing, but he got his mind together and soon broke into another run. This time Merle hardly noticed any ANCSE troops covering the retreating ones, most of the other troopers probably having decided to just run for it.

It was then that Merlewhitefire noticed the gunfire had seemed to die down. Had that last explosion triggered the entire line to collapse? Maybe a division or two had decided to pull back, and theoretically that could cause the line to falter, but... the whole army in this sector? Soemthing had to be up, something had to...

"Do you hear that?" Merlewhitefire suddenly asked Tofu King, who nodded. The gunfire had died down, and had now been replaced by...

stampeding.

"Crap!"

Merlewhitefire and Tofu King immediately spun around and witnessed to their dismay a full-on calvary charge. The two began to fire wildly into the crowd. Some of the oncoming horses spooked at the shouts and tried to turn back... only to be forced forward by their ferocious riders. Other ANCSE troops near them had joined in, knowing their situation was fruitless either way. Merlewhitefire smiled as he nailed a rider right off a horse, with a particularly slanderous comment. They were on top of them at the point however, riding around and past them.

Past them...

"What the elohir--oof!" Tofu King went down with a thud, one of the Slasher riders hitting him in the back of the head with his club. The ancient weapon made a feeble "lol owned" as the thick wood collided with the trooper's skull. Merlewhitefire saw the calvary had surrounded him and his friend. Just as one of the calvary guards struck him, Merle could him say;

"The Khans will be glad to see we have caught these men. They shall be of much use, yes?"

_ZOMG_

Now what was going on here?

Dancing Banana was surprised to say the least. An evacuation? To the Go Mountains? what was the ANCSE planning?

It wasn't exactly the evacuation part that took her off-guard. The Go Mountains were located in the southern lands of the Empire, and a march there would take days at best, and a month at the worst. With the war going on, could the ANCSE really afford the manpower to do that? And what kind of connection did this move have with the war, anyway? Dancing Banana tried to think of comfortingly; the POW camps were located pretty close to the ANCSE-Beast Boy/Raven Kingdom lines. It was possible, possible, that this meant the ANCSE was losing, and that they were trying to make sure the Beast Boy/Raven armies couldn't pick up a ready supply of able-bodied men and women with a swift punch forward. Of course, the POWs would have to recover a little from the treatment they got at the camps, but at least it wasn't as bad as it had been during the first Great Shipping War. Stories of whole camps dying from mistreatment back then were commonplace, and still circulated in propaganda.

Although... Dancing Banana didn't know whether to believe that or not. She wanted to; to think that her country had turned the tide and beaten back the invaders; but something didn't feel right about it. It was too soon; the ANCSE outclassed the Beast Boy/Raven Kingdom military in too many fields by all outside observers; the surprise attack had already stripped the Beast Boy/Raven Kingdom of some of its finest divisions. At least, that's what she was told. Again, she didn't have any hard evidence on that information, just the word of the smug prison guards.

So then... what was happening? Dancing Banana looked out to her fellow POWs, all lined up and ready for the morning inspection, knowing it'd be their last in the camp. They had already been informed that they'd leave today, and had packed their bags. In the distance, Dancing Banana could make out what appeared to be trucks coming towards the barbed-wire topped concrete walls. One advantage of being built in a valley with hills on every side; you could see what was coming without having strain your neck.

So... trucks? They were sparing trucks from the war front to transport them? Maybe her idea of the Beast Boy/Raven forces throwing the Noncas back had some merit.

"Attention!" Dancing Banana's head snapped back to the Prison Captain, who was standing on a small wooden stage in front of the POWs. "When the trucks arrive you are to get inside the holds with your belongings and nothing else! You will be driven to the coast, where you will then board ships bound for the Go mountain regions. No questions!"

Dancing Banana was left dumbfounded. Ships too? Maybe the Beast Boy/Raven Kingdom had bypassed the camps and made it to the capital already.

~~~

Man, calvary is one weird-looking word. =/

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actually this thread is much more well behaved than usual, I'm genuinely impressed that after 4 pages I only have 7 such comments that apply to the "marxist revolutionary by day, provincial bigot by night" stereotype"
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Wolfbane
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:36 pm  Reply with quote

Nice. I'm not there, but this is my new favorite chapter.
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Dancing Banana
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 8:28 pm  Reply with quote

Ships? That must mean pirates! Stupid (ahahaha--no)

Yet another great chapter, Kaiser.

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remix177
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:22 pm  Reply with quote

AZELMA IN HELL

Chapter Three



“How do these papers not catch on fire?” Azelma demanded.

The Management Office was eerily just like any other office Azelma had ever been in: a receptionist sitting behind a counter, other staff at work desks studying papers or answering phones.

“Nebuchadnezzar! One of our demons just got excorcized!” someone called out, hand covering the mouthpiece of their phone. “We need you NOW on line two! He's really freaking out!”

“First-timer?”

“I guess so!”

“Alright, I'll talk him through it. Dammit, I hate when this happens. Now I got like fifty forms to fill out.”

“Heh heh.”

What?”

“You said 'dammit.'”

Azelma looked at Memphis. “These people run hell?” she asked, not impressed.

“They're fallen angels,” Memphis said. “The ones that are too scared to fess up to it come down here and find work.”

“Where are their wings?”

“Eh, Satan cuts 'em off, cuz he's sick like that.”

“Uh-huh...”

Memphis led Azlema to the main desk. “Soul just in. Azelma. Manhole.”

The angel at the main desk popped the large round bubble she'd been blowing. Like everything else in the place, it was red. “And what's this to me, demon-boy?” she asked.

“Look, just because you're an angel doesn't mean you're better than us,” Memphis snapped. “Now pull up her damn file.”

“Heh-heh!” someone laughed.

“Shut up!”

The woman rang a small bell on her desk. An angel with bandaged stumps ran in from two double-doors behind her. “Get the Azelma file,” she ordered. “Manhole.” He nodded and turned arund, disappearing back through the doors.

“So what exactly is in my file?” Azelma asked.

“Pretty much anything we need,” Memphis said. “Birth date, death date, religion, denomination, major sins, minor sins. We hardly ever look at the files but every once in a while we'll get a mix-up, like right now.”

“And how is this a mix up?”

“Well, we all thought you were atheist. Apparently you're not.”

“Right,” Azelma said. “I'm agnostic.”

“Isn't that just a fancy term for atheist?” another deformed angel called out.

Azelma clenched her fists. “I am not an atheist!”

“Back in my day we had believers and non-believers,” the angel muttered stubbornly. “None of this 'well maybe' crap.”

“That's not exactly what agnosticism is—” Azelma began.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Satan barged into the office. Automatically everyone's heads shot down to their work. At the main desk, there was a pop as the the angel woman popped another bubble, covering her nose and mouth with the stuff.

“We have a problem with your newest soul, Satan,” Memphis said. “We thought we had her filed under atheist, but she's not—”

“Is she a Scientologist? Because that was the greatest religion I ever invented. Except for, you know, Satan-worship.”

“She's an agnostic. Or so she claims.”

Pop.

The doors opened again and the same angel came out with a manila folder in his hand. “I have the file right here!”

“Hand it over,” Satan ordered. He grabbed the folder and tore it open, scattering a few pages that fluttered to the floor and were eaten up by random flames.

“Hmmm,” Satan said. “It says here you're an atheist.”

Azelma said, “Yeah but that's an error. As I have been saying, I'm agnostic.”

“Really, Azelma, what's the difference?”

Azelma screamed, stamping her foot. “I AM NOT AN ATHEIST!”

Pop.

“Look, really, there isn't much difference,” Satan said, pointing at the folder. “Either way you're getting tortured forever.”

“But in that case why would she lie?” Memphis said. “Obviously our files aren't perfect. We should correct this mistake before we do anything. Someone is slacking around here.”

“Yes, maybe I should fire a few people,” Satan muttered, stroking his chin. Several angels started whimpering. “Alright, send a courier up to Heaven and see what they have to say about this agnostic business.”

“What about me?” Azelma demanded.

“I can see why she fell into that manhole. She's slow.” Satan turned to her. “Like I said before. You are going. To the lake. Of fire.”

“But then why did you drag me all the way down here if this mistake isn't going to change anything?!” Azelma cried.

“We had a clerical error.”

“I thought I was getting out of here!” Azelma yelled at him. “You totally uplifted my hopes and then dashed them!”

“Hello! This is Hell!”

Pop.

“Okay,” Azelma yelled, “ that is IT! I've had enough!” She pointed a finger at Satan. “I am SUING this whole place!”

“What?”

“That's right! I'm suing Hell! Try to stop me!”

Pop.


(To be continued)

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Wolfbane
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 7:59 pm  Reply with quote

But hell has lawyers!
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merlewhitefire
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 10:15 pm  Reply with quote

Wolfbane wrote:
But hell has lawyers!


Yes, but they're all on HER side. You think they're on the HAPPY end of the whip?

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Wolfbane
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:17 am  Reply with quote

I see your point.
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Azelma
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:55 am  Reply with quote

Yes, exactly, Merle. The lawyers are on my side...but of course, who's saying I'll need lawyers? I was pre-law, you know.

Quote:
“I can see why she fell into that manhole. She's slow.” Satan turned to her. “Like I said before. You are going. To the lake. Of fire.”


Very Happy

This is awesome, as usual, Remix. Now a South Park reference would make my life...you could do it...you have Satan and stuff...

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remix177
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 9:25 am  Reply with quote

Thanks for the comments, guys. But next time point out when my tags are all screwy, kay? XD
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darkhalo
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:33 pm  Reply with quote

Wow, remix I love your fic!
I hope you continue this, I'd like to see how the whole 'Suing Hell' thing works out. heheh. Very Happy

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The Kaiser
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 10:06 pm    Reply with quote

SHABAM revival.

Acht Chapter

Contrary to popular belief, war rooms were never "in a mess" when disaster struck the nation. This was certainly the case for the ANCSE war and planning Chief of Staff office. It was hard to say there was any real noise being made at all. Royal Brother Darth Nat sat in one of the swiveling command chairs, watching as his generals and adjutants went about finalizing plans and orders.

His generals and adjutants. The swivel chair next to him sat empty. Royal Brother Buzzard had departed the Empire almost as soon as the hordes had started their attack. He'd gone back to the Kid Flash/Jinx Kingdom. Nat knew it hadn't been out of fear of being struck down by the Hordes as they pounded their way to the capital thread, but he couldn't help but curse Buzzard. His departure had done more to demoralize the General Staff than any defeat could have. Yet, it did not cause a riot, or some other kind of "mess" so commonly associated with beleaguered nation's war rooms.

Darth Nat sat forward in his chair, and turned his head to one of his staff generals. "Adjutant Wolfbane, status on the North-Eastern Front?"

"Not the best, your excellency. Measures are being taken to slow down the Horde Advance, but with our major combat units on the BR Front, we're using exiled and green troops rather than our best."

Darth Nat nodded. Always thought that'd come back to bite him. He doubted that the exiled units would fight less than they could against the Hordes; those nightmarish, horse-riding, tank-rolling warriors from the badlands didn't take prisoners, at least not when they didn't need them. No, the units on the border would be fighting for their very survival, something which always pushed men and women past what they often considered their up emost abilities. But if he had allocated even a few battalions of his nation's very best, they wouldn't be in as dire straits as they were now.

His aides and generals could obviously read what the Royal Brother was thinking.

"Sir," one of them started to say, "Sir, not all's lost. Our forces are only slowly being pushed back, even now it seems like the Horde push is losing its momentum."

"Is it?" Darth Nat asked. He spun in his chair to a large map to the back of him. It displayed the entire TGN land. The borders of all the nations a year ago were outlined in a thick black. Different colored lines had been added in different places, stretching out from the black lines and into other nations. On all the fronts save the troubling Horde ones, the Anti-Non-Canon-Shipper Empire had made gains. Beast Boy/Raven armies were still in retreat at the (Nat liked to think at least) mere sight of his Strom Trooper brigades. The Beast Boy/Terra Commonality still maintained neutrality (and why shouldn't it have, Nat had no intentions of messing with CidGregor's domains), as did the Jericho/Raven (fanatics, every last one of them) Free State. The Cyborg/Raven Principalities had (foolishly) declared war on both the Beast Boy/Raven Kingdom and Nat's own nation, and were being severely punished for it. No surprise, for all his bluster, Emperor Rasta didn't have much to back up his words other than his seething hatred of anything that seemed a threat to his nation. While they'd caused the ANCSE to have to divert some war resources to fight them, it hadn't been a large cost.

On the other side of the world however, the situation was just reversed. Horde units advanced everywhere out of their badlands. There was already sporadic fighting going on between Kyd Wykkyd/Angel Girl Republican troops and the invaders. This was to be expected of course. In the case of any breakthrough by Horde units, the KW/AG border was so close to the Badlands one that the ANCSE strip of land between the two might have simply not existed for all intents and purposes. The Kid Flash/Jinx Kingdom however, remained undisturbed. Of course, it was much farther from the badlands than the former nation's were, but at the land the Horde was covering daily, Nat was surprised Horde armies weren't already skirmishing at least.

ANCSE land proper was a mix of good and bad. The southern peninsula, covered almost entirely by the Go Mountains, was completely untouched by the Hordes, as were the Northwestern mountain ranges. For the most part, the western reaches themselves were also pretty calm, it was the east where all the fighting was going on. Positions of armies were displayed on the large map just as well as current borders, and from what Nat could make out, his men and women were just as stretched as the circular incursion of the Horde made them out to be. Even as he thought about his nation's predicament he knew more seasoned regiments were being shipped from the Western Fronts to the east. With luck, they'd be able to get there before his main lines of defense broke or were just worn down too much to pose any real stoppage for the bannish monsters out of the badlands.

And... if they couldn't hold before the veteran Strom Troops and other squadrons could arrive, the General Staff would relocate to one of the mountain ranges. POW camps were already being put in the two mountain ranges that lines the nation's borders with the sea. Good supply of labor if the majority of the nation had to move where they lived.

Royal Brother Nat hoped it would not come to that.

_ZOMG_

"Come on you patrons of banned members, you want to live forever?!"

The Beast Boy/Terra soldiers whipped themselves into a fury at Officer Skyhunter-Comma's yell of encouragement, as they jumped out of their entrenchments and ran at the enemy. The Horde troopers seemed to falter for a moment, not used to seeing soldiers charge at them. Skyhunter grinned at the sight and took advantage of the foe's hesitation. He raised his flame rifle, letting loose several rounds. A bullet rang true and a Horde cavalryman found himself falling off his mount, screaming as he was banned. Other troops of the Commonality took after their officer, firing as they ran. Most shots missed, some didn't, more Horde troops fell.

"COME ON!" the mandate coming down from Commander Amaigirl had been to simply hold their lines and let the Hordes smash themselves against them. Comma knew that was because of the KF/J Military Staff, tying his commanding officer's hands in a knot to make her job as difficult as possible. Why they'd want to compromise their country's chances of survival was beyond him, but whatever. He'd be forgiven if this counterattack proved successful, decisive even. From what he could see, it was. The Horde charge had almost completely stopped at his line, as if the Horde warriors didn't know what to do now that they were being forced to fight defensively. A Horde tank rolled forward, seeming to regain the drive.

"Banzooka, forward!" Skyhunter_Comma cried.

A two-man team ran near him. The tank was only a few dozen meters away now. Quickly, the men loaded a rocket into the banzooka, and after split-second aiming, the main grunt pressed down on the trigger. The projectile shot out and flew towards its armored target. It landed squarely on the turret head, causing a terrific explosion. The tank stopped rolling, as Horde crew members started jumping out of the new 'escape hatches' where the turret had been. Comma fired a couple times at the retreating figures, missing them all. He nodded thanks to the banzooka crew, who ran off to probably take out another tank nearby.

The nearby destroyed tank gave Skyhunter an errie calm spot on the battlefield. He quickly looked around himself, taking the chance to see how the battle now raged elsewhere. It was hard to believe, but his tactic seemed to have worked exactly as he'd hoped; the Horde troopers all along his front had stopped coming forward, and the ones not engaged in firefights or close combat were actually starting to retreat! This wasn't what was happening along the whole line of course, but if he could capitalize on this lull in the Horde assault, even flank another part of their line...

He noticed a soldier running up to him from behind, carrying a wireless set. Good thing his own little staff was as alert as he was to things that needed to be broadcast back to main HQ. The man placed the box at Comma's feet, handing him the mouthpiece.

"Commander Amaigirl," Skyhunter_Comma spoke into the piece. Static raged on the machine, frequencies were probably all over the place. "Commander Amaigirl." Comma repeated again.

Another voice came back to him from the main box, turned loud enough so he could hear it standing up. "Yes--Zzz-Hunter_Comma?"

"We've achieved a breakthrough in the Horde lines. Repeat, hole in the Hordes lines. Request push by rest of line in diversion to flank, repeat, full assault for Cannae affect."

More static. Then, "Roger, full-Zzz-tack along the-ZzzZZ-"

That was good enough for Skyhunter. He pulled out a bullhorn from his backpack, and turned it to full blast. Pointing it upward, he screamed into it.

"PUSH TO THE LEFT!"

The Beast Boy/Terra troops under his command immediately followed the order, running to the northeast. Soon enough they'd double back and right into the Horde line. Skyhunter_Comma smiled at himself. Victory, or at least damn close.

_____

SAVAGES

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Skyhunter_Comma
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:30 am  Reply with quote

Nice, I get soem action!
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Wolfbane
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:05 pm  Reply with quote

*dances happily* Im in! And Im an adujant! Now, a bit of frontline action for me would make my life.
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Dancing Banana
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:05 pm  Reply with quote

Finally, there's action! I love battle scenes. Can't wait to see more. =)
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Alpha
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 3:43 pm  Reply with quote

Wow. I should have seen this thread earlier. This is awesome stuff.
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Crzy Grl
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Joined: 29 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 6:53 pm  Reply with quote

Dude, it's been freaking forever -- I just looked back on my fic here and realized how noobish it was. Sad Plus, I hate my username now. Meh.

But it's all good because:

We Who Are About To Die: Chapter 4

Kaiser always had that sense that something was wrong.

Always. He didn't believe he was psychic, didn't believe he was a descendant of anyone who might be. It was just that little notion in the back of his mind, that was there for a split second, that screamed for a split second. Trouble. Friends. Somewhere.

It was small, but it startled him, making him drop his Kid Flash/Jinx badge in a second. Fresh off the press, the colors oozed, and eventually became a sticky mess before his eyes. "Dammit!"

"Trouble?" Remix asked, looking up from her "Slade/Me" badge.

"Yeah, the badge -- it--shoot, I gotta go." Kicking himself from the stool, Kaiser made for the door, Remix looking confused behind him. "We can make another, dude, just hang on for a sec--"

BLAM! A flurry of motion shot past the doors, ending abruptly in a pile of carts near the markeplace. It was a body, a suit to be exact, covered with badges. Pandora.

"I--hold it for me."

*

"Kaiser!"

Karoru waved him over as he approached the scene, Pandora's head in her lap. Her face was smudged and wet, she seemed to be crying. "Take Pandora and leave. Get Max, get anybody, and take her to safety--"

"What the hell is going--"

"LEAVE! Dammit-NO!"

Kaiser heard the whissh! and ducked, the sword of the Kang warrior swiping the air where his head had just been. The followthrough was intense enough to distract the warrior as he pulled swipe in, but alas, the three seconds of cursing was enough for Kaiser. A quick rundown of Pandora's suit produced him with his own sword, "Who are you?"

"Ask your friends. I'm tired of explaning," came the quick response, before the sword came down, aiming for Kaiser's chest.

KANG!

"Sorry, dude, but it's not that easy."

The warrior let loose with an angry war cry; suddenly the swipes were coming faster, harder, the air shrieking a protest with every attack. Kaiser soon could feel the blows weighing on him, Pandora's sword becoming heavier. "Karoru! Take Pandora and find Azelma. She can handle taking her to safety. CidGregor will be there; tell him to hunt down Max."

"I'm not letting you die, Kaiser, no matter how much of a jackass you've been lately."

"That's nice. Do what I say."

"You're not commanding officer."

"Yeah," Kaiser panted, and brought the sword down hard, straight into the warrior's armor, cutting loose a piece, "I'm just the one with the sword."

The warrior gave a piercing yell, and clutched his chest. Kaiser could see blood slipping between the fingers, and dropped the sword in horror.

It was not the wound that astonished him. The heading had come off during the battle, revealing the warrior's identity. Eyes that should have been clouded with anger were hazy with panic of losing blood.

"Oh my God, said Kaiser. "It's CidGregor."

"You're kidding," said Karoru, and glanced at the fallen warrior, and quickly realized he was not.

CidGregor fell to his knees. "Help. Me."

*

"Quiet!"

Azelma's harsh cry fluttered through the air and quickly died. "All of you, silence, now."

"Azelma," Kaiser started, "You can't deny it. That's Cid's body -- right there --"

"Kaiser, quiet or so help me--" Azelma made to cross the room, Remix intercepting her quickly. "Kaiser, shut up. Azzie, sit down."

"Cid is a great guy, he would never! He's third head of Titandome, he loves this kingdom, and would fight for it if he had to. He's a moderator of judgment, and I've known him for years, he--"

"I'm not denying that Cid is not noble," Kaiser continued, looking wary, "But he did attack two members of my team and nearly injured Pandora."

"I'm fine, Kaiser, I just don't want trouble," Pandora smiled reassuringly, clutching her newly shined cast. "You're just provoking trouble--"

"He made me attack him in public. He made me look like a monster," Kaiser pointed out quietly. It was for this same reason that he was exiled from Jeraven, for attacking another soldier in broad daylight. The soldier was dead, and Kaiser was deemed mentally unwell.

"Everyone knows it wasn't your fault, dude -- you were protecting yourself." Max tried to smile, and failed. "Sushi and the others were able to clear up the rumors, no one even knows that it was Cid in that suit. And Rumpelteazer should be coming back with his results--"

"Actually, I've been here for three minutes." Rumpelteazer smiled, and waved the manila folder she was holding playfully. It did nothing to help the tensed situation. "Right, just trying to clear the air." She flipped the folder open. "CidGregor is fine, just a little unwell. He lost quite a bit of blood, but with rest and a few meals, he should be fine. There is one problem," she added, and flipped the folder closed. "Something that isn't quite right."

When no one made to question her, she continued. "With help from robbiepoo, I asked him some questions. Most of them were standard procedure: name, age, et cetera. Then, out of curiosity, I asked where he was for the last few days, what he did. He said he didn't know. He had no recollections."

"I asked him if it was alright if I continue the questions. He agreed, and we went for a while. He had no idea how he got in the suit, who Kang was, and why he'd attacked Kaiser's teammates. To put it frankly, CidGregor had been mindwiped. The CidGregor you've been encountering for the last -- um -- month is not the CidGregor you know."

You could have dropped a pin.

Kaiser cleared his throat uneasily, "So the CidGregor I attacked--"

Rumpelteazer nodded. "Yes, Kaiser. You could've killed the third in command of Titandome."

*

"I want names, faces, backgrounds, dammit!" King Ixnay pounded a fist. "Who is Kang? How did the manage to immerse themselves in the war? And how, Forau of all heaven, how did they manage to capture my most trusted advisor?"

No one moved. Queen Potassium groaned, "They were not rhetorical questions, people!"

Azelma, still angry although calmer, stood, "We are working on Kang, sir. They are not in the ancient text. They are not in the Noobie Forums, the Fiction Forums, not anywhere. They simply...appeared."

"And yet they've managed to gain forty five percent of the postings made on Titandome," King Ixnay grimaced. "That is not an easy task."

"That is an impossible task," Azelma agreed, "but they've done it, and with practically no time available to them, sir."

"I don't want compliments, Azelma, I want results. Before the royal shower, I want reports, updates, anything. In order to defeat our adversaries," he quoted, "we must know them. And trust me, I plan to find out anything I can about Kang."

"A soldier of ours, Kaiser, fought CidGregor. He managed to pierce the armor." Azelma frowned as she said this.

"Kaiser? Of Jeraven?"

"Kaiser of Titandome." Azelma corrected hastily. "Might I add that he has no desire to fight for us?"

King Ixnay paused, then smiled in understanding. "You do not like him."

"No, I am not a noob." Azelma stood regally. "I like CidGregor more."

"In times of war, Azelma, emotions are misleading. You must shed them." King Ixnay sighed, "Bring him to me, and soon, please."

Azelma hesitated, then nodded. "At once, sir. At once."

*

Ah, it feels good to write again. Smile Hope you guys enjoy.

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Last edited by Crzy Grl on Sat May 05, 2007 6:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Max Bosis
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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2007 1:54 pm  Reply with quote

I'm back with more "Trapped in the Closet" parodies!

7 o’clock in the morning and the sounds from my clock wakes me up
I’m stretchin and yawnin and my stomach is real eeeeeempty
So I get up and go to the kitchen to get some foooooood
I’d prefer some Honey Bunches of Oats ‘cause they’re goooood
And then I remember about my topic on TGN
I must hurry and see if I got any replies since then
The thread was about Spider-Man 3 and Venom
I type in titansgo.net in the search engine
And then I go and visit the forums and then
To my surprise I’ve been logged out once again
Now I have to go searchin through my yahoo mail for my password
This sh*t is really pissin me off and I’m mad I can’t say the S word
Finally I’ve recovered my code—10a92gh
I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud—oh man my stomach aches
I remember that I still haven’t eaten
But I say screw it—login—and now I being my readin
It appears that my review thread has been viewed
But I have no freakin replies—this can’t be true!
So I say screw this and check out the Author Idol thread
Ever since it came the forums have been anything but dead
And now I’m runnin out of things to say…
Think, sh*t…
Think, sh*t…
Think, sh*t…
Quick, find another topic…
And that’s when I entered the Author Idol thread
I read the reviews from Azelma, Potassium, and CidGreg
But then all of a sudden when I near towards page 18
My computer starts actin all stupid and it slows down on me
…The page takes forever to load
And I’m still sittin in my room
Anything but a smile on my face thinking “AOL—How I hate you!”
Now I’m stuck there with this look on my face like what will I doooooo?
Maybe now I can finally go get some fooooood…
And as I get up!
To go to the kitchen!
The computer loads up!
Puts an end to my b*tchin!
But then it freezes again!
And I get mad!
So I pull out my berretta!
Yes I have a berretta!
Don’t ask where I got a berretta!
Just know I have a berretta!
Now I’m trapped in this topic!
Why can’t I get out of this topic!?
I want out of this closet!
Oops, I meant to say ‘topic’!
Get me out of this topic!
Please get me out of this topic—topic—topic!

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The Kaiser
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Joined: 28 Jun 2005
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Location: Haters gonna' hate, but Ohio ain't whack.

PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 9:58 pm  Reply with quote

Much awesomeness, Max.

Anyways, *KAISERKICK*

Clean-up workers shifted through the wreckage, stopping every few steps to turn over some bricks or other debris in the vain hope of finding someone. People continued to bill around the ruins of the coffee shop, kept at bay by yellow police tape and the officers themselves.

"Shocking, absolutely shocking..." muttered one civilian.

"Can you actually believe they'd have the audacity to pull this sort of stunt when the Queen was meeting with Beast Boy/Terra's ruler?" said another.

"Yeah, I can believe it." a good part of the crowd turned to the speaker. Focusedshadow stared at the scene with grim disinterest. Just hours ago, a person calling their allegiance to the Anti-Robin/Starfire Socialist Union of Democratic Republics had set off a a bomb they'd strapped to themselves in the shop. The one or two survivors pulled from the place reported how he'd been screaming about the Horde invasion as a sign of his people's deliverance from the oppressive "unrealists".

Focusedshadow shook her head. All the "realists" had done was bring the full wrath of the Robin/Starfire Commonality down on them. Bombings and attacks on military installations was one thing, but bombs on civilian targets? And to add insult to injury, this coffee shop was oft frequented by the Queen herself. Good way to yank the lion's tale the wrong way.

One of the police officers standing behind the yellow tape answered his phone. Putting it back on his belt he motioned to the crowd. "Alright people, get back to your threads and homes, nothing is getting done by just standing here watching."

Slowly, the crowd did disperse. Focusedshadow took one last glimpse at the ruined shop before walking away herself. Still, even with the military might of the Robin/Starfire Commonwealth, any occupation of the Anti-Robin/Starfire soccies' would be troublesome. Almost all the land they had was mountainous, and the tiny bit they had that was good would probably be churned up in the gears of war. Served them right for pulling this sort of thing, but...

Focusedshadow didn't need to think hard to realize all occupation would do is bring home ban lists and drive the "realists" even more into fanaticism and arms against the Queen. What were they supposed to do in that sort of situation though?

The small girl stopped at a vendor on the street corner and bought a newspaper. She started walking as soon as she'd paid for the lump of papers, and debating with herself whether she should wait to get to school to read it or start along the way. The latter thought won out, and she was already in the international by the time she reached the bus station.

"ANCSE military in full retreat to Mountain ranges, ask for cease-fire with Beast Boy/Raven Kingdom." Focusedshadow thought on the words for a while, getting on the school bus before adding to them. She'd heard from a lot of people over the past week about the situation over there, everyone a so-called expert in what should be done about it. Focusedshadow didn't fool herself into thinking she knew what to do about the invasion, though she did think the military of the canon nations should try to do more of what that Beast Boy/Terra Officer had. The counter-charging Commander had made the front pages of all the newspapers in the Kingdom with what he did, and it hadn't just been bravado either. From what all the editors wrote, the Hordes had been blunted in their push in his general direction. Yes, that was definitely what the armies needed to do, blunt the Horde charges.

Well..., at least Focusedshadow didn't fool herself in thinking she knew how to get that done.

The girl went back to reading the internationals section. Almost everything seemed to deal with the Horde front, not surprisingly. For an island nation, and one with the mightiest navy around, Focusedshadow would think her Queen's Kingdom wouldn't worry so much about what went on on the mainland. It wasn't that she thought her Queen cold-hearted, no not at all, but really, other than the fact that they had troops over in the Kyd Wykkyd/Angel Girl Republic, there wasn't anything that should concern them on the continent proper.

Focusedshadow turned to look back at the wreckage of the coffee shop, rescue workers still running around it. Yeah, they had enough things to concern themselves with on their island.

____

"The messages have been sent out then?"

"Yes, sir Kaiser."

Kaiser sat at his wooden command table, his right-hand man Rocketman to his left. He went through the list of dignitaries for his event one last time before waving the emissary off.

"So, you didn't invite any of the big wigs, I take it?" Commander Rocketman asked lazily, leaning back in his chair as he always did.

"No, they already have their political games with each other. This meeting is for all the small-timers who are sitting on the fence."

"what about the Tee Isle nations? Leaving them out?"

"Absolutely," Kaiser answered, waving his arm in front of him for dramatic effect. "They're so full of backstabbing of binding agreements we'd never get anything done if they showed up. I kept the list simple, just the Raven nations uninvolved so far."

"The Cyborg/Raven Principalities are fighting ANCSE troops." Rocketman pointed out. Kaiser nodded, closing his eyes.

"True, but they're been nothing more than border skirmishes. The Principalities had that going on before the ANCSE invaded the Bavens, with all their autonomous warlords itching for fights." Both men shared a smirk at that last comment. The memories of of an overconfident warlord or two charging over the Jeraven borders only to be soundly defeated played in their minds.

Rocketman brought the conversation back to reality. "So anyway, we're going to have Rasta, Nightlark, and whatever leaders the Red X/Raven folks scrape together, in one room to discuss what we should do?"

"That's right, and you'd do well to call them by their titles when they're here in person. No need to insult them if they bother coming."

"You don't think they'll show?"

"Truthfully? Lady Nightlark will definitely come, she always attends these get-togethers. The Red X/Raven people will jump on any bandwagon that can get them back the lands they lost to their neighbors. But Lord Rasta is the wild card. Even with his warlord system, his nation's a powerful one, and this sort of alliance won't work without him. Since he's never gotten over the warlord debacles though, I'm not too sure he'd want this sort of deal."

Rocketman leaned so far back in his chair he fell over. Kaiser forgot the serious discussion for a second and laughed as his second-in-command got himself back up. Just as they were about to begin again the door to the room flew open. An emissary rushed in, note in hand.

"Sir Kaiser!"

"What is it, Matrix91?"

"A dreadful report from the Cyborg/Raven Principalities! Fighting has broken out between the warlords after the nation's leader was found banned!"

"What?!" Kaiser jumped up so suddenly his chair flew to the ground violently. The emissary handed over the note, nervously waiting as his sovereign read it over for himself.

"Unbelievable..." Kaiser finally muttered, handing the note back to his servant. Rocketman was smirking again, though this time shaking his head as well.

"Guess that's one way to solve the problem."

_ZOMG?_

Du du duuu, just getting back into the rhythm of this thing. Had this chapter sitting for a while, decided to finally finish and keep chugging with the war. That, and I need to do something to keep myself from thinking of Jericho's non-inclusion in the DTV. =(

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matrix91
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Joined: 26 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:57 pm  Reply with quote

Quote:

Rocketman leaned so far back in his chair he fell over. Kaiser forgot the serious discussion for a second and laughed as his second-in-command got himself back up. Just as they were about to begin again the door to the room flew open. An emissary rushed in, note in hand.

"Sir Kaiser!"

"What is it, Matrix91?"


Holy crap! First time I'm in (I think.) As an emissary, not bad. Matrix91, the deliverer of the message!

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casual gaming will help put an end to video-games being the scapegoat for incompetent parenting.

Mother of kid who shot up school: My son could never do that, it was all that games' fault!
Cop: *glances over at shooters' kid brother playing "Wii Sports* Yeah lady, sure .
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