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 Forum index » Off Topic » Creative Works
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Ravenisawesome's Random Writings
 
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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 8:41 pm    Reply with quote

Call me emo if you like but, I wrote this to my girlfriend tonight. I hope you enjoy it:
My Poem to Kitty
Like yours, mine aches. I long to see you again, to have you in my arms, to hug and to kiss you. And to be with you forever, with no boundaries. I really want to see you soon, so soon. I love you babe, now and forever, don't forget that.
My girlfriend's nickname is Kitty, and she was really sad and was missing me tonight so, I wrote this to her.

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blackbird15
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:23 am  Reply with quote

Aww, that's so cute to me! I love it, it's so cool. You're good at poems. I've tried to write a poem but it sucked. Sad
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PsychicMaster
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:27 am  Reply with quote

Hey, Awesome, can you please put it in the format it's supposed to be in? I'm having problems reading it.
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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:32 pm  Reply with quote

Uhh, what do you mean Psy?
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SemiGoth
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:42 pm  Reply with quote

Pretty nice poem, Awesome-sensei. Smile

It has some really good emotion. Smile

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Decided to start posting here again, but I don't think I'll be very active. ^^;
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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:56 pm  Reply with quote

Thanks girls!
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SushiChica
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 9:39 pm  Reply with quote

PsychicMaster means that your poem is in prose form.

So instead of
Breaking up your poem
Into verses like
How I'm showing you,

It looks like a few regular sentences.

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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:43 am  Reply with quote

Oh, my bad...
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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 4:07 pm  Reply with quote

Darkness
He sets there alone
in the darkness
just waiting
waiting for her to return
but deep down he knows
he knows she isn't coming back
but he just sets there
sets there alone in the darkness
waiting for her to return

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blackbird15
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:47 am  Reply with quote

That sounded depressing...But still, I liked it! And you put it in the right format, too!



I loves your poems.

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PsychicMaster
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 8:25 am  Reply with quote

Yeah, sorry about the confustion. For me, poems are hard to read and understand the beauty of when they're in prose format. But I really like the darkness one.

If I may, a word of helpful advice (maybe)? You might want to look at other peoms and see how they add in capitals and punctuation to help the reader feel.

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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 2:40 pm  Reply with quote

Thanks girls! And I will look at other poems to get it right. But I am glad you enjoyed them!
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blackbird15
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 2:40 pm  Reply with quote

You're welcome! You're really good at writing. I'm writing a FanFic, but my writing sucks. I wish I could write like you.
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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:53 am  Reply with quote

Oh man I didn't even notice what blackbird 15 said, thanks! But yeah, time to revive my thread. This isn't much, just a few sentences.
"If love is supposed to be a game, then why can't I seem to win? It just seems like I always get a game over..."
Post your ideas, and thanks again! (Just don't call me emo)

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PsychicMaster
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:36 pm  Reply with quote

Oooh. A sentence.

An awesome sentence.

This is now officially going on my 'best quotes' list.

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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 9:57 pm  Reply with quote

Really? That is really awesome, and thanks!
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PsychicMaster
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:05 pm  Reply with quote

You is welcome. ^^

I retire myself for a while to go work on my Inuyasha fanfiction. I now command you to write more awesome quotes that I can put in the file.

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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 1:13 am  Reply with quote

Neutral Um okay, i'll try my best.
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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:20 pm  Reply with quote

I got a new one, I came up with this right before I went to bed last night.
"Why must I live in agony, with no one but me?"...What do you think?

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SemiGoth
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:12 pm  Reply with quote

Ravenisawesome wrote:
I got a new one, I came up with this right before I went to bed last night.
"Why must I live in agony, with no one but me?"...What do you think?


I like it. 8D

Just a little thing I was thinking, ignore me if you want... XD but... I keep thinking it would be a bit more epic if you carried the agony over to the second part, like 'with no one to lift it from me' or 'with no one to grieve for me' or something.

I dunno, it's seriously cool, but that was digging in my skull. I hope you don't mind critique. Smile

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Decided to start posting here again, but I don't think I'll be very active. ^^;

Last edited by SemiGoth on Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PsychicMaster
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:38 pm  Reply with quote

Pretty!

Or dark. Whatever you were aiming for.

I like! Please, continue!

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Ravenisawesome
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:02 pm  Reply with quote

I don't mind it at all Semi! Infact it will help me become a better writer. Smile
And don't worry, I will continue writing more Psy! And I was aiming for dark. Wink

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RavensShadow
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 8:21 pm  Reply with quote

Whoa, Awesome, it's not too often that you find someone who doesn't mind critique and who actually knows that critique is good for you! ^w^

And you cover dark very well. :}

Short, sweet, and emotional - nothing less than a five-page poem can be. ^w^ Really nice work, here, Awesome, and I love how you're not falling into the 'oh-my-god! it needs to rhyme or it sucks!' stuff...

(And nice avatar, by the way! 8D)

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Rocketman
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 8:55 pm  Reply with quote

RavensShadow wrote:
'oh-my-god! it needs to rhyme or it sucks!'


It does need to rhyme, or it's just prose. Breaking words into irregular lines does not mean you wrote a poem, it means your twitchy fingers are hitting the enter key too much.

Also, your stuff is so blisteringly stereotypical I'm having to wear oven mitts to type.
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The Kaiser
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 9:02 pm  Reply with quote

Hoh snap the TGN Crew is here working on another masterpiece I see out of the smoldering piles of emo ashes.



TGN CREW REPRAH-SENT

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